I've, with a little poking and prodding, decided that I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that I am going to be happy. If that means I have to loose some friends, then I'm sorry it came down to it, but I want to have a good senior year, and I'm not having a good one right now. I can't be happy without thinking about the past, and I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want reconciliation, I just want peace. I've decided to look for the motives in people's actions like I used to...
If I have been harsh in the past, if I have lost you in this mess, If I have held fast, In not ever giving my best. I want to say I'm sorry. So I'm saying it now, "I'm sorry, so sorry, And I don't know how, Things got the way they are, Accepting only the truth, And I wish that I could say, That I hadn't gave up youth. But all my dearest friends, You do not have to cry. I have given up my wings, so other ones could fly. If I could have this peace, the one that can't ex...
It was amazing. It was strange. It was fun and it was my personal little secret. No one knew it. No one dared to know it. I played Neopets. What was first a small community of players on a small set of servers has now quickly become a global experience with a full time staff. You have a pet. Buy it books! Train it to fight! Buy cool foods for it! Play games, build a house with your Neopoints, the Neopets currency. Collect trading cards, play the lottery, buy scratch tickets, collect rar...
You are different. And since you are different, you are an individual. And so as an individual, you are alone. And because you are alone in this world, you search out the people who accept you. And through the people you have, you find comfort. And by comforting others, giving hugs and crying tears in a circle, you learn to love. And so by loving as much as you can, believing what you believe, and by standing fast in your faiths, you live. And so by living the life we l...
I'm tired. I'm tired and sick. Sick and tired. I'm wondering how long it will take for me to pick my sad and sorry ass off the ground, and get back to being alive again. To be honest, I'm not sure why I do this to myself. It's not worth hurting over, and I've already said my piece four or five times now. I'm getting tired of saying it. My mind hasn't changed a bit, other than to know now that I can't take the insanity that comes with this. Give it a rest. I've heard about the tra...
What is truth? What is this thing that people hold so dear? It seems so subjective, so random that it's hard to tack down and hold in one place long enough to examine and dissect it. The dictionary says that truth is conformity to fact. Fact is defined as information based on real occurances. Does that mean that the truth is an occurance, or information about an occurance? What is the truth? Is a fetus a person? Is that the truth? Does the sky look blue? Is that the truth? Is reli...
It has come through much experience that I share this tidbit of wisdom. It seems whenever I am having the most problems in life, I push away from the people I care about the most. I know that this happens to a lot of people, and I can't say that I'm proud of pushing away. Life shouldn't be like that. You should be able to know that you can go to someone with your problems, and not have to worry about looking good or being funny or attractive or whatever. You should be able to find solace ...
Well, I haven't told anyone on JU, but I guess now is a good a time as ever to tell you all that I am now employed. I've been working about three weeks now at the local branch library as a shelver. It's a great job with really flexible hours, and I love the atmosphere, and all of the other librarians. It seems that I now have an extra three mothers, which is pretty fun. Today we had Cooking with Kids at the library, and it was a blast! We had about 19 people total, and they made brownie de...
Lately, I've been getting letters and poems from a secret admirer. While I find this a little flattering, I also find it a little strange, and I just wish that whoever is writing the letters and poems would just tell me who they are, because I'm not very comfortable with the whole idea. To be honest, I don't know whether I should be flattered or afraid. I've been told not to worry about anything, but it still worries me a little just because I don't know who this person is, and if I do kno...
This one time, at band camp.... Band Camp Stories, no1. The first time I posted this, the top page and a half got deleted. I don't know how, but here is the article in its entirety. Most of the time in band, you go with traditions that have been set in place by people far gone, seniors from a long time ago that thought it would be cool to try something new and different. That new and different thing becomes a tradition passed on my word and action to new band members who repeat those ...
The semi-famous Capt. Cornbread and NotSoSmellySarah are gone. They've left JU. Boycotted it, left it, canceled it, just plain quit, what ever. All because of something that I helped cause. Their struggle shall not have been in vain. I could not have saved them from the drama, but I can avenge them. From now on, I'm done with this. I'm done with drama, I'm done with the crying and the hating and the smiling and patting backs with knives in our hands. This crap ends here, and it ends...
I tell you flat out It hurts too much to think of this So from my everything I exclude The very thing that I hate more than everything How I'm painful and powerless, to create who I truly am. I've ran away From all this and so much more And I just plead and pray Please let my problems go away if they're ignored But life doesn't work like that No it doesn't work like that. When I hit the ground I go down hard And I take everything I've learned And do nothing but disregard ...
Academic challenge team took a hard hit tonight at a 1game win 2 game loss at the LU meet. Today's been pretty good, and I don't think I've made anyone cry or made anyone hate me today, so that's a plus! LOL I've got a number to call if I feel like crying now. That's cool. It's even cooler that I'm allowed to call and cry, and that's ok. I've not gotten into any fights, hurt anyone, hurt myself, felt like breaking down and falling to the ground sobbing uncontrollably.... you know, th...
If I could choose, I would take black eyes and bruises, over this heartache that they say, will never completely go away. And know that I don't hate you, and know that I don't wanna fight you, and know that I'll always love you, but for now, I just don't...know. And I said I know that this will hurt, But if I don't break you heart, things will just get worse. If the burden seems too much to bear, Remember the end will justify the pain it took to get us there. Reach out t...
Academic Challenge/ In the Know season is upon the new team, and we've started out strong in A Tri meet with schools which will convienently be sensored to be called A, B, and C schools. I'm a team captain, and Capt. and Zoo, along with morethanme and the anonymous kinjruh make up a small part of our team. Academic Challenge is a game of intellect and knowledge, as two teams of four players apiece battle it out in 3, 10-minute maches where each team will try to answer as many questions th...