I hope you have found a friend...
Published on February 8, 2005 By Death_By_Beebles In Misc
This one time, at band camp.... Band Camp Stories, no1.

The first time I posted this, the top page and a half got deleted. I don't know how, but here is the article in its entirety.

Most of the time in band, you go with traditions that have been set in place by people far gone, seniors from a long time ago that thought it would be cool to try something new and different. That new and different thing becomes a tradition passed on my word and action to new band members who repeat those same actions as they grow older.

The tradition I'm going to talk about is not one of those traditions.

Back when I was a freshman, I was able to experience the amazing thing that was band camp. All my friends were there, and everyone that I did not know became a fellow sufferer through band camp. We had a bond. At the end of the week, the band held a little "dance" that everyone was invited to under the premise that you could only get a pizza dinner if you came. Needless to say, everyone went. So I'm enjoying my first "band camp dance." The seniors had previously taken the time to, earlier that day, decorate the room with ribbons, duct tape, ballons and the like. Wootah.

In the middle of the dance, two of the senior girls go up to sing a song. (I'm ommitting names for privacy reasons). One plays guitar, and the other sings. The song they sing is "The Freshman" by the Verve Pipe, and I have to say that I cry. It's a bitter sweet tale of love lost as a freshman, and it really struck my heart strings. It was at that time that I decided to sing a song. I wanted to do something cool like that, so I decided right then and there that I'd sing a song at the end of the dance, sort of like a closer.

I go up to one of the girls that sang and ask if she has the song I'm looking for. She does, thinks my singing is a good idea, and gives me the CD. I'm a little nervous, so I ask a guy friend who is a junior to sing with me. He agrees.

At the end of the dance, our band director announces that we have early practice and then a show for the parents tomorrow. She also says that, "Before we all go, we have one last request. Alex wants to sing one last song, and then you can all head back to your rooms. Alex, take it away."

I walk up and grab a chair, and sit in it backwards infront of the entire band. My friend sits down, and I look out at everyone and say, "I'm going to end this dance with a song that I think's pretty appropriate. The song is called Closing Time, and it's by Semisonic."

I put the CD in the player, and play it. The first song is Closing Time, and so I begin to sing.

Closing time - time for you to go out, go out into the world.
Closing time - turn the lights up over every boy and every girl.

I look up. Everyone is amazed. They've never heard me sing before, so instead of hearing what they thought they'd here, they here my voice, which, although isn't amazing, is decent enough to make everyone in the room quiet down and listen. I close my eyes and remember the next couple of lines.

Closing time - one last call for alcohol, so finish your whiskey or beer.
Closing time - you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.

I'm looking up at everyone in the beginning of the song, and I'm surprised to see some of my friends crying. Not just the girls, but some of the guys as well. I'm trying to sound happy, but it's not really working, because I'm still pretty choked up because of Freshman.

I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
Take me home...

Closing time - time for you to go back to the places you will be from.
Closing time - this room won't be open 'til your brothers or you sisters
come.
So gather up your jackets, and move it to the exits - I hope you have found
a
friend.
Closing time - every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

Yeah, I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
Take me home...

Closing time - time for you to go back to the places you will be from...

I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
Take me home...

All of the girls in the room are in some form of crying. Even our band director is getting pretty emotional. The last line does it for me. It's hard for me to get out the last line of the song, I'm so close to breaking down and crying.

Closing time - every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

The dance ends, and everyone kind of files out of the room. I just sit in my chair and cry. Brandon comes up and tells me I did a good job. Ms. Meyer tells me through choked down sobs that she liked it, and she thought it was appropriate.

I've sung this song every year of the four years I've been in band. I've done it solo Sophmore - Senior year, and especially my senior year was really emotional. I couldn't finish the song at the very end. The most emotional part of this whole ordeal is this: Now that I'm not going back to camp, I have to have someone sing the song in my place. I picked a young man with a great heart, and a beautiful soul. At the beginning of the song, I told everyone a little bit of this story, and told them that I'd carried on my tradition for as long as I could, and to see if it was a tradition worth keeping, I was going to give the honor to a freshman boy. If he so chose, he could end the tradition by not singing it his sophomore year, or continue it until he was a senior. At that time, he would pass that experience to another freshman boy.

When I called Weylin up to sit by me and learn the song, he burst into tears. "Alex," he said, "I don't know this song. How could I ever sing it?" I looked at him with tears in my eyes and said, "All you have to do for me is choose whether or not you want to sing. The words will come with time." He sobs for a couple of seconds and then says, "I'd love to."

My friends, in all the time that comes to pass, there will be an end to that. In everything you have, there will be an end. My hope and wish is that all of you can leave this time we've had together with a friend.

All I have become, all that I am,

Alex

Comments
on Feb 08, 2005
Alex told me to come check this one out because he said that he thought I'd really like it.

You know. It's funny thinking about this stuff. Our freshman year was almost the ideal year. When probably didn't think it at the time, but (looking back) the best year of my life, so far, has to be my freshman year. I'm sure there will be others but this is it at this point.

My favorite thing about our freshman year was how casually we could act at school. Now all the teachers are more uptight because of the new school. Before, you could just about walk to any class you wanted to and just (as carefree as you could) talk to someone on your way to class. If you were late you most likely got away with it because it just didn't matter then.

I remember being able to actually go get coffee for Mrs. Kemper without being yelled at for potentially spilling something on the floor. Now, you get yelled at for not cleaning all of the water off of your feet before you enter the school.

I used to be just as emotional as Alex still is when we were freshman because I could be that way without someone thinking I was just hitting on someone. I mean, I was the comfort zone for the seniors who were crying at the dance. I could really just let loose, all the tears I wanted to, and not a single person would care.

Now if I even look like I'm sad somebody thinks there's something wrong that they can fix. I guess that 9th grade was just the end of the casual years and the beginning of... whatever this is.

One thing I wish I could have changed about 10th and 11th grade... I wish I would have already been with Sarah. Now, I feel like I'm missing something. Well, here's to the good ol' days. May we never forget them Al.

your friend,
Brandon
on Feb 08, 2005
Well, here's to the good ol' days. May we never forget them Al.


Truer words have never been spoken, my friend.

You miss what you take for granted, and I feel like I could have lived better, and learned more about myself if I could do this all over again. Alas, it is not to be. God bless our memories, and make these times something we can never forget.

Salaam,

Alex
on Feb 09, 2005
God bless our memories, and make these times something we can never forget.


We won't forget them...joining the band and going through highschool with you guys has been a most "unique" and awesome experience. We had some good times way back when....but, we can always do other stuff. At least this internet thing will keep us in touch eh?

Here's to memories, both good and bad, and what we learn and take from them that help us shape and develop who we are and who we will be.

~Zoo
on Feb 09, 2005
Well lets just say that I don't have as many band memories as you guys do. But every now and then I try to look back on everything. But I think that my freshman year has been the best so far. Nobody was really angry at anyone that year, and I didn't get my head bit off for being accused of something I didn't do. Unless of course you count the time when people accused me of locking myself in Ryan's room. But do you really think I'd do something like that? This year by far has been the worst year. At least for me. I got yelled at a whole bunch at band camp, treated like I was nothing but a lump of shit. All because stupid people decided to spread nasty rumours about me. Even though Alex and Brandon will not be there next year, I hope it will be better than last. This past years band camp I know you all know that I cried, a lot. But my freshman year I didn't. I guess since I didn't know hardly anyone except the people in my freshman class it really didn't effect me as much as it did this year. I just wish this year would've been just as good as last. Last year I met the only guy I have ever loved, I made plenty of new friends. But the down side of that, is that most of them will be leaving this year. But Shaun is right, we do have internet.

they here my voice, which, although isn't amazing, is decent enough to make everyone in the room quiet down and listen.


Alex, you have such an amazing voice. That is why people listened. If they're like me, then they love it when ever you sing.


~carebear~
on Feb 09, 2005
Alex, you have such an amazing voice. That is why people listened.


Yes, Alex....we get a huge hardon everytime you sing j/k

But you do sing rather well.

~Zoo
on Feb 09, 2005
Yes, Alex....we get a huge hardon everytime you sing j/k


Well I'm not sure if that's true......

~carebear~
on Feb 09, 2005
Yeah... Ashley can't get a hardon.

At least as far as I know, she can't. j/k Don't slap me

Beebes
on Feb 09, 2005
Interesting article, Alex--I read it before without the beginning part, but now I really understand it!

It's a bitter sweet tale of love lost as a freshman


It's more than a tale of love lost--its the end of innocence. I read an interview with the songwriter once. The story is actually about a guy who slept with his best friend's fiance--the girl got pregnant. The guy insisted that she abort, and the wedding was cancelled (the "never compromise" line, the "stop the baby's breath" and the "shoe full of rice" line). The best friend tried to forget about the girl, and the girl committed suicide ("took a weeks worth of valium and slept"). The guy and his best friend pretended like it never happened, never discussed it and their friendship suffered as did all their other relationships ("never talked of our lacking relationships" and "we tried to wash our hands of all of this.")

The "we were only freshman" is a reference to the fact that we are all doing things for the first time throughout our lives (Brian Vander Ark--the singer and songwriter) had watched Marlon Brando's "The Freshman" before he wrote the song--that's where he got the inspiration for the title).

Sorry--I love any opportunity to pick apart song lyrics! Thanks for indulging me!
on Feb 09, 2005
That makes so much more sense now
on Feb 09, 2005
Alex~ You already no how emo this made me. Hold on to theese memories and never let them go.
Sadly my "freshman" year of band which was actually my sophmore year of skool sucked big time. Ryan...gah i want to strangle him just thinking about it, but hey i still have some really good memories like melissa kicking him in the balls, that was precious...Anyway, I am so glad I found the friends that i have now, I don't know where i would be right now if i didn't have my bigger than me brat friend to rant at and to cry to. And if i didn't have Brandon, whom i am madly in love with and is my very bestest friend. You guys warm my heart, and make me feel strong. I look back and say "wow look where i've come from and look where i am" and i can truly thank you all for that. If i could change the things that happened in the past that have hurt me and hindered me from being friends with all of you, I would, but I cannot. I can only thank God that they've turned at for the most part very good. I would also say that I would go through it all over again just to be with Brandon. As your christian sister and very close friend, I love you alex and may you always sing as it warms our hearts and gives me peace.
on Feb 09, 2005
Yeah... Ashley can't get a hardon


Yeah....last time I checked I couldn't get one.

At least as far as I know, she can't. j/k Don't slap me


I think you've had your share of slapping for now. Unless of course you bring up the whole J.R. thingy. That is really nasty! I know you're just joking, but it's still nasty. But don't worry, I actually feel bad for slapping you. I mean especially if it actually hurt. I guess I don't know my own strength.

~carebear~
on Feb 13, 2005
...sigh...i guess just being a band groopie doesn't give ya the full effect! darn.

-kinjruh-