My face is warm from the quiet, from the exertion I can't hold everything did you expect me to? An easy trip, fall is such a wonderful season. Say you'll miss me say anything say it and live again. So while I plummet, I see your reaching hands, try to pull me back up, throwing ropes of words of love and condolence and I wonder what would life be if I was never rescued? What is it like to be alone?

Some days, it feels to me like I can't find myself, or find my faith in the things that happen to me. Other days, it's like God himself is right behind me saying, "Look, kid, you're doing this all wrong! You're supposed to be THIS way..." and I have to get my butt back in gear. It's been one of those weekends. So, first and foremost, Thank you God, for the wakeup call. A good friend of mine told me this weekend that I wasn't acting like the Alex she knew. That I was being impatient and ...

Sometimes it feels like I'm part of the old saying, "Jack-of-all-trades, master of none." I can create a decent work of art. I can write an award winning essay, but it's usually 2nd or 3rd place. I can do resonably well with HTML and computer lingo, but I'm no computer wiz. I can argue a common point well to a certain extent. I can play a decent game of chess. I'm smart enough to understand my calculus, but not good enough to get all A's. I can get most of the Physics pro...

I'm drowning, about as fast as I can, But you won't throw me a line, or give me a hand. It's amazing, all these things that I've seen, but it all comes down to this, Whether or not I'm here or in between. It hurts me, but do you really see? The pain that I've had, The truth isn't crazy. It's a miracle, That I've made it this far, but if I don't get some help now, I won't go any more. If you, ever find this note, just remember your life, your friends, your family. Some...

I've just noticed that the last five articles I've written are actually all poems. And while this is all well and good, I'm not a Dirty Johny... I should be writing articles now and again. Not that poems aren't good, but I should probably write something else for a while. Maybe I can save up some of my poems for a little while later. Do you ever feel that you're in a state of mind that keeps you feeling like poetry for a while? That's where I'm at right now, I guess. Today, I watched...

It's easy to hide from your problems, It's easier to flee than fight, It's easier to hide than love, It's easier to be wrong than right. Living is close to a thing like this, A constant state of nothing new, Of lies and lost trust, and hope And nothing affecting you. But so you work on, for something better, But in doing so, you become sad, Because of all the things you try to get done, You remenesce the life you never had. Peace, Beebes

Don't. Ever. Create a 100 card Magic the Gathering set in 3 days. It'll give you a migraine you can swim in, trust me. It's been a while since I've posted, so here goes. This Saturday, I went up to a Pro Tour Qualifier for Magic: The Gathering, and did ok. 4-2 isn't so bad, but it isn't Top 8. So, no prize for me.... Oh well, I had a good time. That's all that's really important. I learned something this week. You can't be happy trying to make a person who wants to be unhappy happy. ...

It's been an interesting week. Of course, when I say interesting, I mean hectic, and disappointing, enlightening, encouraging, and all around... confusing. I don't know what's really happening right now... Easter break seems so far away from now, but in reality, we've been in school again only 2 days. I'm waiting for Sat. since I get to go play in a Magic: The Gathering Pro Tour Qualifier. Who knows, maybe I'll do ok! Today... well, I don't know what today was about, but at least it was...

She walked in. I know her. I was working, so I didn't get a chance to say hello, or sit and talk like I would have wanted. She walked in. I was there, but she didn't seem to notice all that much. She wasn't paying attention, I think. She walked in. I tried to say something to her to catch her attention, but she didn't hear me. Maybe it was because I never said anything. Maybe it was because she didn't want to talk. She walked in. It was a moment of silent desperation, at least, that...

I'd like to wish everyone a great St. Patty's day, and would like to remind all people today that St. Patrick's color is blue, and there were never snakes in Ireland to begin with. Enjoy your green beer! Here's what I wrote the article for. I've come across and old Irish Blessing, and would like to share it with you all. May your troubles be less And may your blessings be more And nothing but happiness Come through your door. I wish this for all you Jusers out there, even the anno...

Forgiveness will be the thing that gets us by, I know you have given up, time to live, time to grow, time to fly, to be there for us. Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault. It isn't easy to stop doing things, isn't easy to quit, to halt, and things this broken aren't easily fixed. If you look foward to what is ahead, to see the changes that are in store, you'll see the one who's glory never ends, and nothing will ever be the same. And if you base life on what you see, ...

I've had a few revelations when it comes to drama... (the theatre, that is) 1) Working with stage makeup is kind of like working with paints and pastels in Art. [ I did the make-up for the Frog Footman (carebear) and the Fish Footman, and actually had a lot of fun doing it.... and I'm still straight! I'll see if I can get some pictures ] 2) It's hard to get eyeliner off! 3) Cast parties are fun, but taking off your stage make-up at 1:30 AM is not. 4) It's worth every speck of ef...

I've, with a little poking and prodding, decided that I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that I am going to be happy. If that means I have to loose some friends, then I'm sorry it came down to it, but I want to have a good senior year, and I'm not having a good one right now. I can't be happy without thinking about the past, and I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want reconciliation, I just want peace. I've decided to look for the motives in people's actions like I used to...

If I have been harsh in the past, if I have lost you in this mess, If I have held fast, In not ever giving my best. I want to say I'm sorry. So I'm saying it now, "I'm sorry, so sorry, And I don't know how, Things got the way they are, Accepting only the truth, And I wish that I could say, That I hadn't gave up youth. But all my dearest friends, You do not have to cry. I have given up my wings, so other ones could fly. If I could have this peace, the one that can't ex...

It was amazing. It was strange. It was fun and it was my personal little secret. No one knew it. No one dared to know it. I played Neopets. What was first a small community of players on a small set of servers has now quickly become a global experience with a full time staff. You have a pet. Buy it books! Train it to fight! Buy cool foods for it! Play games, build a house with your Neopoints, the Neopets currency. Collect trading cards, play the lottery, buy scratch tickets, collect rar...