I just want peace

too bad it doesn't exist

Published on March 6, 2005 By Death_By_Beebles In Misc

If I have been harsh in the past,
if I have lost you in this mess,
If I have held fast,
In not ever giving my best.

I want to say I'm sorry.
So I'm saying it now,
"I'm sorry, so sorry,
And I don't know how,

Things got the way they are,
Accepting only the truth,
And I wish that I could say,
That I hadn't gave up youth.

But all my dearest friends,
You do not have to cry.
I have given up my wings,
so other ones could fly.

If I could have this peace,
the one that can't exist,
then I could be myself,
And find what I have missed.

I just want peace.
Too bad it doesn't exist."

Comments

wnx_decoy

on Mar 06, 2005

I would like to say, "I know how you feel" or something comforting like that but all that I have to say is that peace does exist, but you have to fight for those things that you hold dear. If you truly want peace you'll have to fight for it. Just saying it's not there is not going to help bud, but I'm willing to do as much of the fighting as I need to to help you out of this slump you've been in lately.

Capt. over and out!

wnx_decoy

on Mar 06, 2005

Oh yeah, one more thing.

Just keep going Alex. You've got plenty of people ready to jump on a chance to help you out.

Capt. over and out!

Death_By_Beebles

on Mar 06, 2005

Thanks.

Zoologist03

on Mar 07, 2005

Alex, you stupid ass....can you not see once again? Peace hovers around you...all that is left is to reach out and secure it. Don't fool yourself that it will never be....it is poised and ready to be accepted. A few words can change the world around you, don't forget that.

Always here to help, Al...you need but ask.

~Zoo

carebear07

on Mar 07, 2005

Shaun you think that everything is ok. But I actually don't think it is yet. I know you talk to Sam and you say that things are ok between her and I. But they're not. If they were ok then don' t you think she'd be talking to me and actually sitting with me on the bus? And the people speading the rumors....what's up with that?

~carebear~

Zoologist03

on Mar 07, 2005

And the people speading the rumors....what's up with that?

That's not my area....you guys will have to take care of that on your own.

Have you tried talking to Sam at all?...I mean really trying....not just saying something and then oh well, that didn't work.

~Zoo

carebear07

on Mar 07, 2005

Like I said, she doesn't want to listen to me. So what's the use of repetitive(sp?) trying? She's already threatened to beat my face in, and tonight she said that if she had to do my make-up for the play that she was going to stab my eye out with the eyeshadow applicator thingymabob. It's not that I'm afraid of her, I just really don't want my eye stabbed out or my face punched in. And I know she calls me a bitch and what not, but I don't care. I'm going to try to be the better person and not stoop down to her level if at all possible. I know you do think things are okie dokie, but they're not.

Chances are she's lying to you when she says things are ok. I hate to say these things, but I'm only saying them how they're being put into play. And if she doesn't want to talk to me then so be it. I really don't care. Well I guess you could say I do care, but I don't want to care. If that makes any sense. Like I've said, I've had enough of this bullshit. I like Alex, a lot for that matter. And I'm not going to stop just because someone is supposively "in love" with him. How could one be in love when one likes another? That just doesn't make sense to me. You can not possibly love a guy, but be in like with another guy. That's kinda like cheating, except you're not going out with the person.

You know, it hurt when Alex and Sam started going out. Yeah, but I didn't bitch about it for days on end. In fact I didn't even bitch about it once because I knew you guys didn't want to hear about it. And Sam says that she asked me if it would bother me if they went out. She claims I said it was fine and dandy. But I know what I said. I told her that it did kinda bother me, but I also couldn't do anything to stop them even if I wanted to. And that is exactly what I said.

I wish there was peace. I'm all torn apart. I'm healing.....but there are still some places that need some patching up. And it kinda hurts to know that someone wants to practically kill you. I guess I know how Sarah felt when she thought I wanted to kill her. But that's another story for another day.

~carebear~

P.S.~ If I sound like a bitch here, sorry.

Zoologist03

on Mar 07, 2005

*sigh*...Psychology comes in handy, you know?....I guess I've still got more to iron out....there's still some anger, sadly. Strong feelings don't die away so easily, I know that.....everyone knows that. I'll keep working....I've got to get you guys back to normal....well, pray for it guys....pray as hard as you can.

~Zoo

carebear07

on Mar 07, 2005

I'm praying. I pray 24/7 for things to be better.

~carebear~

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!