I'm tired. I'm tired and sick. Sick and tired.

I'm wondering how long it will take for me to pick my sad and sorry ass off the ground, and get back to being alive again.

To be honest, I'm not sure why I do this to myself. It's not worth hurting over, and I've already said my piece four or five times now.

I'm getting tired of saying it. My mind hasn't changed a bit, other than to know now that I can't take the insanity that comes with this.

Give it a rest. I've heard about the trash talk, I've seen the drama, and I've seen you pull down so many people into the pile of shit we're both wallowing in that it's making me sick.

"Tell me you don't love me anymore so I can get over you."

I don't love you anymore.

"Then you never did."

So I guess I fell into lust for 7 MONTHS. Yeah. Even when I'm saving myself for marriage, even when we promised ourselves we weren't going to do anything like that. Wow, I'm sure you knew me so well. Or was it you just jabbing at me to make a point?

Leave me alone. I'm weighed down enough as it is.

Comments
on Feb 21, 2005
Well, it's good that you said that, Alex. At least everything's getting out in the open.

~Zoo
on Feb 21, 2005
Now tell us what you REALLY think Alex.

Just Kidding.
on Feb 21, 2005
My mom gave me this site so that I could read all of your good poems and such.
Alex, I'm worried about you. Whats Wrong?
Call Me, we can talk.
on Feb 21, 2005
I guess you got what you wanted Sam.

~carebear~
on Feb 21, 2005
Alex, you need to know that you didnt do anything wrong in this whole relationship. Sam needs to think about whats shes done. You just need to forget about her and let her think about what she has done to you. She broke the heart of the greatest guy that I know and thats her fault. There are so many better things to worry about and stress over. You are a senior. You should be having the best year of your life. Just have fun on you Florida trip and dont think or worry about her.
on Feb 21, 2005
Sam needs to think about whats shes done.


Indeed she does. I think she's been trying to think more about what others have done and not what she's said and done to everyone who never wanted to be apart of the whole thing in the first place.

She broke the heart of the greatest guy that I know and thats her fault.


Not only did she break the heart of the greatest guy that we know, she also broke the hearts of many others. And bullshited her way through everything that has went on. I actually not a word of truth has came from her mouth since the whole thing started.
on Feb 21, 2005
I dont know Sam very well, but from what I do know she has major problems with dealing with her issues. Alex, just don't worry about her anymore any look twords your friends for support. They are the ones who love you and they are the ones who trust you. If they are your real friends they will listen to you and be there for you when you need someone to talk to. Just trust them.
on Feb 21, 2005
Alex, you gotta have faith that everything will turn out okay. You are being tested.....Even if there seems that there is nobody you can turn to....You always have god...you can pull through I have faith in you and her. I will say a little prayer for you two.

~Live Life to the Fullest~
Ns38
on Feb 21, 2005
Wow Alex, you KNOW Mickey Mouse?!?!?! That's so cool!! Can I get an intro? Do you know Goofy too?
on Feb 21, 2005
Alex, your friends love you very much. We may not have the best advice at times, but we try to help you out a lot. We are here and always will be here to listen to you. Things need to stop now. If they don't then the Florida trip you're going on is going to be such a drag. And I'm sure you don't want that and I'm sure Ashley and Sam and everybody else doesn't want that either. I think you should just let things go. Don't worry so much about it all. Try not to work yourself up. It's not healthy for you or anyone else. Because I'm sure your friends don't want to see you hurting. If they are true friends they will hurt with you and be at your side the whole time.

on Mar 01, 2005
Alex, I'm sorry things didn't get better in Florida but can I say that I'm kinda glad we had that very emotional moment while we were there? I think it was about time that we did that. I mean it too.

Sam! Don't you see yet that you're hurting others? I used to consider you one of my friends that I could turn to but now I realized that my backing out of the drama at the beginning wasn't a good enough sign for you to realize that your friends weren't comfortable with the way things were going? Nobody is happy anymore. Alex has people crying and you have people crying.

You may not know this but I was crying in Florida because of this. I'm not upset because you two broke up. I'm freaking out because you're being childish about it. I hate to say it like this because I see both of you as friends, but you both seem to be relying on your friends' to feel bad for you. I'm stuck with Alex because he's my best-friend.

This whole thing could stop in 2 seconds. If you'd both just apologize and admit that you have been overreacting (both of you) you could stop the pain that quickly. But seriously, I refuse to listen to anymore of this. If you aren't going to say anything nice about someone just shut your trap.

Alex, I don't want you to think that I'm that was all towards Sam and I don't want you thinking I'm mad at you either. I just want you to realize how it is from my side. I don't care that you are emo now and I don't care that Sam's an angry person. What is bothering me is that YOU are dragging this out and SHE is poking it with a stick. If you'd seriously just ignore her. Like, when she tries sending you messages (just so you know sam, all i know is they upset alex) just delete them before even reading them.

It's up to the two of you to stop this. We can't do it for you. However much we wish we could stop all of this we can't.

Oh yeah, Ashley, I don't know what to say to you. I thought it was cool that you were arounding Alex so much but I don't think that what you're doing is good. Literally hanging on him like this when he's saying he's not ready and also doing so just to spite sam is not cool at all and it's not helping anything/body.

Again, this isn't my way of yelling at you, this is just a reminder that this whole thing is drastically effecting everyone.

Capt. over and out!