When you push something away, do you feel the force? Do you feel the bonds of the galaxy straining against your subtle manipulation of muscle and sinew? When you push away, do you hear, the whole earth groaning under the strain? Do you feel the shudders of a resigned oblivion? Someday, this world is going to crack in half. Someday, it'll be the last day. Someday, you'll push, or she'll push, or he'll push just a little too hard... So when you stand up tonight and take your chi...

Sometimes, blogging, and especially the blogging community is just like a potluck dinner. You've got political activists -- the meat and tatters guys on the right wing and the fau grois and spinach salad coming from the left, with libertarians bringing a little mix of everything... but mostly brownies. Poets --- Being one of the aforementioned, we're probably bringing in boxed chicken as personal expression, or some half-sweet cheesecake. Maybe both! Life Bloggers --- Potato cassarol...

It's a rusty joint, that one. Sick, drunk old men walk in, and sicker drunk old men walk out. The Neon sign has letters flickering, in the mid-evening heat. You can smell the booze, It hovers around outside the bar, The putrid existence of another few unlucky chaps who never quite made it. Some unlucky buck pulls in the back, yellow drunk tags showing off his law-breaking habit. He can’t help himself, it’s intoxicating, the environment, the booze, the place. You walk by and...

You are: So consumed by a bitter, hopeless heart, every piece just consumed by the part, That bleeds jealousy, bleeds agony, That does not see the truth. You are: Holding onto something, that has no meaning, and it won't save you when the end, comes crashing down upon us. You are: Beautiful, meaningful, happy, free, a sight for all sore eyes who have wanted to see. Compassionate, glorious, understanding, Accomplished, and full of heart. You are: Open to nothing, closed t...

It's easier to say that I did everything wrong and you did everything right. Is it easier to run? Easier to fight? And, in comparion with the things in my sight, I find that, lacking a better explanation, I sometimes run when I'm not afraid, because things have been made, into a heavy and painful diatribe, and why must things end this way? Because they must, and I'm glad, that I made these memories I have, And for better or worse, happy or sad, I have a real life, full of pain and ...

It was the last time. Perhaps the best time. The best time for me to talk to you. But I didn't. I didn't feel the need to. You broke me down so many times, that talking to you didn't make much sense. Trying to make me mad was laughable. I saw that you only held his hand when I was around. I've taken what life has given me, all the ups and downs and in-betweens. And I found out that love, isn't as reclusive as you make it seem. There are people who care about the real me...

I wrote a beautiful letter to you, it was full of hope and earnest love. I filled it with my heart and told you how wonderful you are. I put my entire being into it, hoping you would like it. And then sent it off. I received a beautiful letter today. Full of hope and promise. Beautiful words meant for only one person's eyes and heart. It was addressed - Return To Sender. Short and sweet. I thought of this when I was listening to a CD, and I've been meaning to write it d...

Please forgive this everfailing, My soul has been on the mend. Forgive my constant reluctance, but I'm now ready to begin. To see all this beauty, in a place so unsure. And if you could, please find me, and show me the beauty of this world. You have this way about you, You have a confidence matched by none that helps me to believe, That has shown all my failures That every thing will be ok. In hopes that I can begin to begin a...

Some days, it feels to me like I can't find myself, or find my faith in the things that happen to me. Other days, it's like God himself is right behind me saying, "Look, kid, you're doing this all wrong! You're supposed to be THIS way..." and I have to get my butt back in gear. It's been one of those weekends. So, first and foremost, Thank you God, for the wakeup call. A good friend of mine told me this weekend that I wasn't acting like the Alex she knew. That I was being impatient and ...

Sometimes it feels like I'm part of the old saying, "Jack-of-all-trades, master of none." I can create a decent work of art. I can write an award winning essay, but it's usually 2nd or 3rd place. I can do resonably well with HTML and computer lingo, but I'm no computer wiz. I can argue a common point well to a certain extent. I can play a decent game of chess. I'm smart enough to understand my calculus, but not good enough to get all A's. I can get most of the Physics pro...

I'm drowning, about as fast as I can, But you won't throw me a line, or give me a hand. It's amazing, all these things that I've seen, but it all comes down to this, Whether or not I'm here or in between. It hurts me, but do you really see? The pain that I've had, The truth isn't crazy. It's a miracle, That I've made it this far, but if I don't get some help now, I won't go any more. If you, ever find this note, just remember your life, your friends, your family. Some...

I've just noticed that the last five articles I've written are actually all poems. And while this is all well and good, I'm not a Dirty Johny... I should be writing articles now and again. Not that poems aren't good, but I should probably write something else for a while. Maybe I can save up some of my poems for a little while later. Do you ever feel that you're in a state of mind that keeps you feeling like poetry for a while? That's where I'm at right now, I guess. Today, I watched...

It's easy to hide from your problems, It's easier to flee than fight, It's easier to hide than love, It's easier to be wrong than right. Living is close to a thing like this, A constant state of nothing new, Of lies and lost trust, and hope And nothing affecting you. But so you work on, for something better, But in doing so, you become sad, Because of all the things you try to get done, You remenesce the life you never had. Peace, Beebes

Don't. Ever. Create a 100 card Magic the Gathering set in 3 days. It'll give you a migraine you can swim in, trust me. It's been a while since I've posted, so here goes. This Saturday, I went up to a Pro Tour Qualifier for Magic: The Gathering, and did ok. 4-2 isn't so bad, but it isn't Top 8. So, no prize for me.... Oh well, I had a good time. That's all that's really important. I learned something this week. You can't be happy trying to make a person who wants to be unhappy happy. ...

It's been an interesting week. Of course, when I say interesting, I mean hectic, and disappointing, enlightening, encouraging, and all around... confusing. I don't know what's really happening right now... Easter break seems so far away from now, but in reality, we've been in school again only 2 days. I'm waiting for Sat. since I get to go play in a Magic: The Gathering Pro Tour Qualifier. Who knows, maybe I'll do ok! Today... well, I don't know what today was about, but at least it was...