Just keep doing what you're doing . . . being respectful of Sam and respectful of her parents. My parents HATED . . . reallly HATED my husband (boyfriend) for a long time, but through the years he has proven time and time again that he loves me and is willing to make sacrifices to meet my needs. Now my parents think he is the greatest man that ever lived. He can do no wrong in their eyes. Just be patient, and continue to do the right thing. Sam's parents are just trying to protect their baby girl.

Thanks Tex. I know that they want to protect her.

I just wish they'd give me some sort of a chance.

Peace,

Beebes

My grandpa (mom's dad) told me that trust isn't given away, it's earned.....

Not being rude, but only thing relevant I could think to add

OK, I seriously doubt you want my advice. And I imagine that when Sam reads this, she'll be f*cking pissed. But I'm going to write this anyway, because I think it's true.

Sam's mom is probably overly-protective for a good reason - me. She was absolutely right to try and get us to break up last year. Looking back, the age difference was just too much. She was concerned for her child, and I know that I would have done the same thing. And, it turns out we weren't right for each other anyways (values are completely different, I'm a jackass, etc.). Unfortunately, I think I set a precedent. Sam's mom will probably compare any of Sam's boyfriends to me, for a long time. Basically, I've ruined it for you, and I regret this very, very much. I'm not lying.

But here's how you can work on fixing that. Always, always be nice to her mom when you see her. Go up and talk to her whenever you can. You need to prove that you are not me, you are the nice, caring, sweet guy that I wasn't, and that you are right for Sam (which you are, Alex). Don't kiss Sam in front of her, until things are much better - her mom would freak out. Ask her mom if you can come over and talk sometime. This will not be fun for you. If she won't let you come over, write her a very nice letter, explaining yourself and your intentions. Remember, distance yourself from me. If she doesn't respond, write a nice note every now and then. As per prom, once you open a channel of communication, discuss options such as going with a group, letting Sam use a cell phone, bringing her home at a specific time.

And keep this in mind: you're not just doing this for yourself, you're doing it for Sam as well. She is going through hell with her mom, if this situation is at all similar to what happened during our relationship. I hope you'll get something out of this, and not just dismiss it because I was one of Sam's worst experiences. By no fault of her own, mind you.

Alan, you are a wise man.

Even though you did mess up your relationship bad with Sam, I'd have to say this is something coming from you.

Thanks for your help.

Alex

Alan,

That really changed my opinion about you, and no, i am not angry. It is amazing that you could have such good advise, and is willing to give it to us. Thank you

Sam

I hate to say this....but good luck talking with her mom. And yes, I do know how she runs things. Believe me, my parents are the same way, or atleast not far off. I think maybe the only difference is that I think I'm actually allowed to go to prom this year if im asked, but I think that my dad has to approve first. Anyways...I do agree with Alan's advice even though I still think he's a total ass for what he's done. But yeah, you should try to talk to her mom, open things up. And yes, kissing is a big no-no with the mom is nearby(trust me on this one, i've learned from experience!)---Oh, and try to make sure she's no where around even if you think she's not. (long story) And we all know that you're definatly not in the realationship for sex. If you were I'd make sure somebody shot you before you had the chance to have sex anyways. (only because I care so much. ) Well, I hope I helped you some. Good luck you guys!

~carebear~

I think you're going at it the right way....I mean you are a gentleman in the truest meaning of the term.... You're doing good so far and talking with Sam's mom might help ease her feelings....well, hopefully....I understand her thinking, though it is incorrect, but I think you might get through to her......maybe you can enlist some backup if you need it eh?... A whole caravan of people attesting to your commitment showing up at her house....

Good luck Alex, (Let me know what happens)
~Zoo

Yeah, I think that the whole caravan of people might freak her out just a little bit, don't you?

~carebear~