Because Apparently I need it.
This article was originally written Saturday, Sept. 4, 2004. Due to a long football game and tired parents, I was unable to post this article until early Sunday morning.
Today’s been interesting for me. Every Saturday, I normally play Magic: the Gathering with some friends at a local hobby shop. It’s a good way for me to relax, get my mind off of what I’ve been doing at school for a few hours. Today, however, my dad needed help building a new barn, so I did that instead. Today, when I got home from working, I was talking to my mom, and she made the comment, “What happened to the nice, happy boy I used to know? Why can’t you just be more positive and not be so sarcastic all the time?” Now when someone says something like this to me, it’s like a crank start on my brain. So, come with me as my contemplative engine starts running on how I’m a negative person.
Mom’s right. Lately I’ve been sarcastic, mean, and pretty much horrible to all of the people I see on a daily basis. Not to people I don’t come into a lot of contact with, like acquaintances at school or my brother’s friends. People I care about, people who mean something to me.
For example, I have a good friend who is really into art. It’s like 4 of his periods at school. In my independent art class, he and I are sitting at a large square table with another friend and my girlfriend. He’s working on a huge pencil sketch which looks pretty good for only being roughed in. When he asks me what I think, did I tell him that he was doing a good job, keep it up? No. I said to him, “It looks good from the back.” So, basically, I dissed him just because. I could have said, “I like it.”, or I might have said, “Hey, I think it needs a little work in this area.” but instead, I said “It looks good from the back.”
I’m more sarcastic than I have been the past three years of my life. Sarcasm is a big part of my humor, but normally I keep it under check. This year it’s like a mint patch in an herb garden. It’s running rampant.
I don’t say thank you much any more. I’m pretty much a jerk to just about everyone. I don’t see how I still have friends. I don’t know what to do, but I need to stop.
Any advice? I’m going to try to just pay more attention to the good things in life, and not worry about some bad things, but I’d be willing to try anything to get back on a better track.
Peace,
Beebes