A place to call home
Published on July 9, 2004 By Death_By_Beebles In Home & Family
A powerful story. A young boy forced to fight, to kill, to harm, to save his life, others lives, even the world, maybe. A child barely old enough to hold a gun sent out to destroy others.

“Center on the target, pull the trigger. Center on the target, pull the trigger. Center on the target, pull the trigger.”

Enough!

Maybe again. Maybe not such a powerful story. A young woman gets up and goes to work every day. Feels the pressure that today might be the day she is losing her job, every day. She’s not good enough, everyday. Comes home and cries. Every day.

“Don’t let it happen again! You are worthless! Get out of my sight!”

Enough!

These lives are unfamiliar ceilings, and so often it seems that each day is like an unfamiliar ceiling. We wander around in under it, looking around in puzzled confusion. At the end of the day, we go to bed, and stare up at it and ponder. Wonder what life would be like if... Wonder what life would be like if we had a place to call home. A place without an unfamiliar ceiling?

Do you really have a place to call home? Sometimes it seems like time is not a home, that time is there to push against, push away, keep us away from knowing what love is, what trust is, what home is. Sometimes, it takes forever for a person to find a place to call home. Sometimes, a person never finds it. Sometimes a person stays in that place all their life.

Yet all our lives we constantly search for home and family, for a place to stay and put down our roots, for people who care and love us. We constantly look for a place with a familiar ceiling, one that doesn’t shun us or make us wonder why.

Why do we let our lives become unfamiliar ceilings? Why do we constantly fight against one of the greatest unifiers in the history of the world; the home? These days it seems like the home isn’t a place to be with family, it’s just a place to sleep, eat, and get a shower before heading off to one of your three jobs. Divorce and quick “shack up” marriages destroy the value of the home, making children and adults truly believe that the home isn’t a good place, that home is a divider.

What about you?

Maybe someday, hopefully you’ll look back and see home, not an unfamiliar ceiling.

Peace,

Beebes

Comments
on Jul 10, 2004
Wow! I don't even know what to say! Except, that was a really good article!

Maybe someday, hopefully you’ll look back and see home, not an unfamiliar ceiling.


Yes, maybe. I think that would be nice.

~carebear~
on Jul 10, 2004
Thanks much!

The problem seems to be that I'm only writing for you, carebear...

Oh well, life goes on.

Beebes
on Jul 11, 2004
It's alright. You know, that's how I started out. I just had one person reply to my stuff and then one by one, I found myself talking to a whole crowd of people. Just keep doing what you're doing dude.

Capt. over and out!
on Jul 13, 2004
You start off strong with:

"A powerful story. A young boy forced to fight, to kill, to harm, to save his life, others lives, even the world, maybe. A child barely old enough to hold a gun sent out to destroy others.

“Center on the target, pull the trigger. Center on the target, pull the trigger. Center on the target, pull the trigger.”

Enough!

Maybe again. Maybe not such a powerful story. A young woman gets up and goes to work every day. Feels the pressure that today might be the day she is losing her job, every day. She’s not good enough, everyday. Comes home and cries. Every day.

“Don’t let it happen again! You are worthless! Get out of my sight!”

Enough!"

After that point it's rather derivative. Not bad overall.

If you don't mind my asking, how old are you Beebles?
on Jul 13, 2004
I'm seventeen. I don't mind your asking, but why do you ask?

My style is... developing at this point, and I'm trying to create a more powerful type of writing. I didn't know that it sounded copied or anything like that... at least, I think that's the definition you're using. Who do I sound like? That's kind of odd for me, I've always been told that I have a unique writing style.

Thanks for the help, I can use it.

Peace,
Beebes
on Jul 17, 2004
I meant derivative in this sense (but not as harshly as it's defined here):

"Often as applied to written work the term "genre" is used pejoratively, suggesting not just similar writings but artificial, derivative,and generally bad writing. Perhaps in connection with this, the term also suggests writing aimed at a particular audience of readers construed as having limited taste. It sometimes connotes a sort of literary "ghetto," to be contrasted with Literature proper."

I asked about your age because I got the impression that you were in your teens and just wanted to make sure that was the case.

I would say that's a pretty good piece for a seventeen year old and the derivative comment dosn't really apply for someone who is just learning. We all have to start with what's familiar, right?